Okay so I’m at a turning point. I have decided it’s a turning point b/c I am so miserable right now that I think that the ONLY way it’s going to get better is if I turn my thoughts on to happier things and really get a better outlook on it. I know the week that I was positive it seemed that I had a much happier week so I’m going to try to get back in that mood of things. Things just really suck right now and I’m ready for them to get brighter, but those are of things that I can’t control. I have a problem with letting go of things that I can’t control. I don’t think that I would describe myself as a control FREAK but maybe I am. I like to feel like I have the power to make things happen and feel sad and miserable when I can’t control the outcomes of things. So maybe by definition I am a control freak.
I guess I don’t want life to be easy because where would the challenge be I just wish that I got a few more breaks. I feel like this past year I haven’t really gotten many breaks and the sad part is I don’t see any lights at the end of the tunnel either. But I am done feeling sorry for myself. Again most of the things that have happened to me are things that I can’t control and it’s time to move forward. It’s time to slap on the happy face because my girls are watching and just tread through this gnomons pile of dung and hope that at the end I get a shower. I have many things in my life that I have to be thankful for and that’s what I need to focus on. You know even superhero’s have weaknesses and I have decided I’m not going to let mine hold me under. So here’s to the turning point.
Yesterday when I picked up the girls from daycare I heard that both kids were bad. Lehna decided to take her “friends” advice and poop her panties and then she deliberately bit the teacher so she could go to Time out. THEN Maya refused to listen to anything the teachers said and when I got there she wouldn’t come over to put her shoes on… I had to threaten her with leaving her behind 3 times before she would come over. So needless to say they both got black X and neither got stuff out of the treasure chest. They then said that they don’t enforce naps and neither girl decided that they wanted one… I was like REALLY you mean a 3 & 1 year old didn’t say “yeah I’m tired I think I need a nap?” WOW WHAT A NEWS FLASH!!! I mean what you mean you don’t enforce naps… I mean the KIDS don’t know them NEED naps… I mean why are they letting the KIDS run the daycare instead of the TEACHERS run the daycare… so the kids cry a little at first… so what they are kids they will eventually get over it… good lord… So you know now that I KNOW that they aren’t enforcing naps… I don’t really feel THAT bad that they are acting up and acting bad I mean they are TIRED and grouchy… THAT’S why they are acting bad…. It doesn’t take a genius to figure that out. I mean give me a BREAK!
So when we got home Lehna asked the entire way out of the daycare if she was going to get a toy… and I waited until we were about home and she asked me again… and I said “Lehna is it GOOD behavior to bit people” and she goes “no” and I go “Lehna is it GOOD behavior to poop in your panties on purpose” and she goes “no” and I go so why would I reward your BAD behavior with a toy… and then the fit started… I was totally anticipating it so that’s why I waited until the car. And she cried for about 2 minutes then PROMPTLY fell asleep. So we got home both her AND Maya asked about a toy and I told them both no… So the fit was kind of ongoing last night… So needless to say it wasn’t very happy in my house last night. There was a lot of “Lehna stop, Maya get down, STOP FIGHTING!, so on and so forth” I gave them baths and they were in their beds by 6:45… no they didn’t fall asleep until 7:15 but that was a ½ hour earlier then what they have been going and every day that they are bad at daycare they are going to go to bed early that night… in hopes that the NEXT day will be better.
So I feel bad b/c tonight I am teaching YW and I have to take the girls with me… so they won’t get to bed tonight until like 8:30 which will totally SUCK for tomorrow morning… AND tomorrow we are heading up to WI b/c I won a ½ day off at work so I get to use that on Friday and I’m just using the entire day to go north to WI! YEAH! So that should be the trip interesting if they are tired and grouchy… but I’m HOPING that they sleep! Then it won’t be so bad… I hope. But that is another thing all together. There are many things that have to happen before now and then. I didn’t pack yesterday and I SHOULD have… so when we get home tonight before YW we are going to have to pack the girls so I won’t have to do that tonight, I’ll save and pack myself tonight. I need to get the dog area ready to go as well you know fun stuff like that. I’m excited about going north for the weekend there’s just some tasks that need to be completed before we can go.
Well that’s all I have for now. I’m staying positive and hope that my happy smile will help the girls behave b/c I know that me being sad and miserable isn’t going to help them and will only make things worse.
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