Dreams

I haven’t been dreaming very much right now and whenever I do have a dream that I remember it usually always gives me so insight as to how I’m doing “inside” Well last night I had a dream, and I wanted to share.

So I dreamed last night that I discovered I was pregnant. It was pretty much the entire theme of the dream. I dreamt that I was feeling kind of ill and I started smelling everything and it was starting to become a nuisance and then it HIT me. Like literally I was like ‘hum this only happens when I’m pregnant’ well then I started getting worried b/c we don’t have insurance right now b/c Tait’s new job insurance hasn’t started it yet… so I didn’t want to go to the doctor to confirm it so I bought a test and sure enough… two lines. So then I wanted to make DOUBLE sure. So I stocked out the doctor at the hospital and he was coming out of the hospital and the hospital looked like a big workshop (like a wood work shop) and I asked him to “examine me” by feeling my belly… LOL so he said that he would… and so he said “well I can’t say 100% but I think you are pregnant” Then I was like GREAT that’s just what I need! So that was pretty much all of it… I mean the rest I was just kind of freaking out and afraid to tell anyone… didn’t want anyone mad at me… LOL I know CRAZY!

So I looked up the dream… and well I think it’s kind of right on w/ what’s going on in my life.

Pregnant

To dream that you are pregnant, symbolizes an aspect of yourself or some aspect of your personal life that is growing and developing. You may not be ready to talk about it or act on it. This may also represent the birth of a new idea, direction, project or goal.

Pregnancy Test

To dream that you are taking a pregnancy test, may be a metaphor for a new phase you are entering in your life (a new job, relationship, etc.) You may feel that you are being put to the test as to whether you are prepared or ready for these changes.

Workshop

To see a workshop in you dream, represents the development of your skills. You are trying to understand your Self and find out who you are.

Abdomen

To see your abdomen in a dream refers to your natural instincts and repressed emotions. There is something in your real life that you "cannot stomach" or have difficulties accepting. You need to get it out of your system.
To dream that you abdomen is exposed, signifies trust and vulnerability. You may be expressing a desire to express your primal emotions/instincts.
To dream that your abdomen is swollen, indicates that some new project is in the works

So I thought it was pretty interesting. It defiantly shows that I have some anxiety about what’s going on with the job search and waiting for “the call” Dreams are crazy like that… at least they are for me… there is always something about them that seems to jive with what’s going on in my real life. I kind of think that’s what dreams are just a reminder of what’s going on and brings about the “anxieties and worries” that you really can’t wrap your brain around ‘YET’

So I also had a spiritual message come to me last night (early this morning)… this was right before I woke up and I can remember it plain as day and the spirit whispered “Stephanie you are not putting your faith in God, why is that?” I mean I can remember the question PLAIN as DAY! So when I woke up I pondered the question again. It’s something that I am struggling with right now, not just b/c of the job search and moving and etc but about other things too. So I guess that all my anxieties, stresses, worries, and all the unhappiness that comes with not putting the faith in the right places is what’s making me so crazy. It’s been a hard couple of days mainly b/c I have a problem with internalizing EVERYTHING so when things don’t go my way I normally blame myself. I don’t think I’m the only person in the world who does this but man it makes me unhappy when I do it. I’m working on trying to be happier. I try to look out for everyone’s happiness and I tend to ignore myself. I’m a working progress. I definitely don’t have all the answers I’m like an incomplete picture I kind of vision of it on an etch-n-sketch… and as I draw the lines I mess up and have to shake it and start alllll over. Frustrating but that happens.

On the up side of things. Lehna has gotten WONDERFUL reports from daycare EVERYDAY… So much that yesterday after I picked them up I took them to Arnie’s then to the park. It was SUPER PACKED and watching two kids when the park is PACKED is HARD work! So we didn’t stay long but we did pick up ice cream on the way home… then it was STRAIGHT in the bath… Maya was COVERED it was cute… but MESSY. So then after I got them cleaned up… Lehna asked for something out of the treasure box and I let them (I know I spoil them but they were SOOOOOO GOOD!) And so they got suckers… well then the sugar HIT they were bouncing… which I expected them to do… and so then after awhile they slowly dropped off… and they were in bed by 7:30. It was a great evening. So I was glad.

So after a couple of emails to the company that I interviewed with last week the news is they haven’t forgotten about me. They are doing a big marketing campaign right now and it takes off on Thursday so they have been swamped with that (which I kind of thought they might have problems getting my references done in 2 days) so the word is I should know something by Thursday/Friday so hopefully it will be big smiles not frowns. I am fairly certain that I got the position if I didn’t then I will be like SUPER surprised. So hopefully that anxiety will be laid to rest and I’ll do better in putting my faith in the right places. I saw a falling star this morning and I made a wish. You know I can put faith in Stars but struggle with Faith in God… doesn’t make sense does it. I know I’m complicated.

Well that’s all for now…