Update Day 2

Okay so another night has passed and I thought that the world would want to know what happened on day two of the adventure of being a single parent.

Well I have to say my opinion of the daycare… didn’t change… sadly enough… now I’m just scratching my head… let me explain.

So on Tuesday when I picked up the girls there was an Express Employee that was just hired on at the daycare. She’s a SUPER sweet lady and I was kind of glad actually. B/c I figured since we already have a rapport from Express that if anything ‘funny’ was going on at the daycare she would tell me about it right? Well I called her by name we talked about how the girls were during the day and she goes ‘do you have a sister?” and I was like no… I don’t… and she goes “you have a look a like I’m telling you” and I was like REALLY other then ME that’s cool. Well when it was time to leave I told her that I would see her tomorrow and she goes “oh it was nice meeting you” and I thought “good lord she doesn’t know who I am” LOL

So on Wednesday when I picked up the girls I said “Elizabeth you aren’t sure where you know me from do you?” and she goes “well I was going to tell you yesterday that there is a girl at a staffing company that looks JUST like you” and I go “Elizabeth that’s ME!” I told her that she knows me from Express. And she was like “well you look so different LOL” Elizabeth is really sweet, a little slow but sweet I think she will do REALLY well with the kids actually, they are just her speed.

Well the director was standing around and was listening and talking when he could… and he goes “you work at Express in Crawfordsville?” and I was like “hum no I work in Lafayette” (then I was thinking… okay we had this conversation about me moving the girls to a Lafayette Daycare b/c I didn’t want to drive them to Crawfordsville every morning b/c I work in LAFAYETTE, hence why they are at this new place) So then he decided to follow me out asking me about Express and asking if we get PT work in so I was like “great just what I need, to be hounded by TWO people trying to get a job” (sigh) But after the two encounters I have to tell you I feel on a whole different planet then the workers at this daycare… it’s kind of scary. So this is why my opinion hasn’t changed. Of course they still have all their clothes when I picked them up and they seemed to eat their lunches really well… so there are positives I guess (sigh) Lord Give me the strength

Well last night was pretty uneventful to be honest with you. We had dinner got the some laundry and dishes done. Maya decided to follow me around the house saying “I want up” and I kept telling her no mommy is busy. So about 7:25 I got done with the chores I played with the girls on the floor for awhile… they mostly just climbed on me while I just laid there… then once I got off the floor Lehna goes “will you play with us?” and I was just like… Lehna I was just playing with you one the floor… apparently it wasn’t enough… not enough hours in the day I guess. (sigh)

So Maya decided that she really didn’t WANT to sleep last night… she got me up 5 times last night… just the whinny cry thing were she’s not totally awake but it’s enough to where you have to either give her a pass, change her diaper, give her a bottle, or just pat her back to soothe her back to sleep b/c if not in 5 seconds she’s going to be up SCREAMING… (sigh) why this kid won’t sleep through the night… I mean she’s almost 2 for goodness sakes… I was SMART I would have given her Tylenol after the first time… but I didn’t, didn’t even think about it. So if this happens again tonight....I will know what to do … she’s been really chewing hard on her passes so I have a feeling she is getting some more teeth in… So this morning when it was time to wake up she goes “sleep mama sleep” and I told her that’s what you should have done last NIGHT! So by the time I fussed with her she was in a terrible mood and cried the entire time getting her ready this morning… I gave her Tylenol and that seemed to calm her down quite a bit. So that was nice. She slept all the way to daycare… when I dropped her off I told the Director that she was in a horrible mood so he picked her up and she seemed to like that and so hopefully things will be okay.

So I have to tell you ever since I have been on my own I have had to seriously go to the store every day… it’s supper annoying b/c there isn’t anything on the way besides CVS or Walgreens and I hate getting the kids in and out of the car seats out of the car… so it’s supper annoying!!! The first day I didn’t have any form of lunch for the girls for daycare… then yesterday I noticed that Maya only had like 5 diapers left so I had to stop… the this morning I noticed that we don’t have very much milk left… I mean seriously when this ENDS… I have decided that I REFUSE to go to the store again today to get anything… so I should have enough to get through the evening and tomorrow I’ll probably have to go and get some but seriously… when does it END!

I don’t know why I’m so negative right now. I am just in kind of a different world and maybe I’m fighting change, adjusting to the situation, frustrated that nothing is happening with my job search and wrapped that up with a bunch of self pity, its’ a pretty sad package. I had a pow wow with Jackie last night and it did help but at one point she did ask “so are you going to see Marge soon?” LOL so I guess that’s my sign maybe I’m not totally balanced. I guess I should feel grateful for what I have and just leave it at that, but mercy me I want so much more. See there is where the self pity is coming in… Sick isn’t it? So I will get through this I know I will I’m a SURIVIOR and a strong one in that. I know a lot of women do this… I mean millions of women do this… I don’t desire a rally many other women don’t get a rally and a parade of how great they are… but let me tell you this is definitely a new perspective on life. I need to just be grateful. So hopefully as I continue down this path for awhile I won’t offend too many by my constant whines and complaints but remember this is my journal of MY life and if you are offended then stop reading it b/c I’m going to whine and I’m going to complain… that’s part of who I AM… I VENT… and let EVERYONE know just how I feel. I don’t hold anything in even when it’s embarrassing and horrible, I am NOT a keeper never have been probably will never be. So cheers to the journey.