So what’s new and exciting.

So much has happened since my last update. So let’s get a going on updating.

So as you can tell I didn’t get the job at DCFS on Friday. I was more than disappointed after the news came out. It actually prompted a quick trip to my mom’s house. Sometimes you just need your mom. I also got the offer of going to the Sheriff’s Department for a position there. That I had turned down the week previously. So there were a couple of decisions to make. You probably don’t understand what decisions so let’s rewind.



Tait and I had been talking about moving back to Indiana. We have been struggling financially with living here and honestly the bump in pay from the DCFS job was going to help us remain here in Kenosha. And we kind of were waiting to see what was going to happen with DCFS. So we kind of just waited so then when I didn’t get the job but the Sheriff’s job was open again it kind of made it a little tricky. I mean the issue that we were experiencing was do I roll the dice and stay a temp, there wasn’t a guarantee that I would find another position and I didn’t know when it would happen. I didn’t know when my current position was going end, so I could have the issue of not being eligible for unemployment because of timing. So we wanted to make some decisions. By the time I left my mom’s there wasn’t a clear answer I was leaning towards turning down the position as I felt that I was only being offered the position b/c I was last candidate as they offered it to me again, and I felt that it might be a bad job b/c no one else had taken it, so what was wrong with it? This crossed my mind a lot. Then I felt that I would roll the dice on finding another position. I would apply to jobs in Indiana and hopefully be able to get there soon. Tait was planning on applying in Indiana and we would move forward.



On Monday I called the HR office and spoke to them further about the position. They said I was the ONLY one they had offered to them and wanted me to tour the position. They felt that by doing that I would be able to see the environment and kind of moving forward with that one way or the other. So on Tuesday I toured the facility and I got a good vibe there the people were really nice and I felt like they really wanted me there. So that kind of changed my perspective a little. I have had many roads and bridges to cross recently and so unfortunately the waiting for DCFS opportunity didn’t come to fruition so it was deciding on what to do now. So after touring I felt that I should take the position. If anything it builds my resume and it allows me to continue to work. I found out on Wednesday that my position for DCFS is going to end on Friday. So timing couldn’t have been better b/c of unemployment and the requirements and etc. So I went for pre-employment screening yesterday, physical and drug test. So I’m waiting on those results but I won’t have any problems.



So we are again at a cross roads. Tait wants to move back and so he has taken necessary steps towards that. He has been contacted by the recruiter for Indiana and they would like to set up an interview so that’s moving forward. In the time being I have also been contacted by a company I applied to in Indiana and they are going to do a phone interview next week. So things are kind of fuzzy at the moment. We are just trying to muddle through things and figure things out. I don’t know what we are going to do in the long term. There are some advantages of moving back but there are some disadvantages. The same is similar to staying in Kenosha. So it’s hard to figure out. I know the answer will come to us but in the mean time we need to stay positive, which is super hard, and these short term things will work themselves out. We just need to come up with some long term goals and what are we going to do to accomplish them.



The paths are opening for us again. We just need to figure out what we want. It’s interesting that the road was back open for me and I feel like I need to investigate the road that was given to me and kind of decide what to do. It’s tough. The kids are still young enough they don’t have a strong opinion either way. Lehna has said she wants to stay here. Maya on the other hand has said she wants to move. So there isn’t a push either way.



So we’ll see I’ll keep you posted either way. At least I will have a job and will still be building my résumé. I’m hoping that I can continue to grow and develop the way I need to.

Pins and Needles right?

Okay so sometimes we get the Pins and Needles when all we really want is a break. And this time I got rusty old needles. So if you haven’t noticed that my tone is a little, over the top… reason well I didn’t get the job. Nope I didn’t get it. I have been sad all day about it. I found out over lunch time and I have to say that I’m just sick over the whole thing. I have worked my entire 9 month ass off for nothing. No reward just shit. So I’m still standing in the freaking hallway truly feeling like I’ve been forgotten.



I know sounds desperate doesn’t it? Yeah life sucks. Then you get more shit b/c well you life doesn’t suck enough. I have been given many things that should make me very happy… and to this I said F you… F You and F you too. You know… sometimes I just don’t understand why I have been given so many freaking challenges but apparently my challenges are not over. I was really hoping for that $6 pay raise but apparently we are supposed to struggle some more. Why… I don’t know I’m still in the freaking hallway screaming? Oh well. Truly oh well. I guess sometimes hard work doesn’t pay off.



So what now. Well I have asked to come off this assignment b/c I want it to be over with. I don’t want to give any more to this department. But unfortunately I don’t have the option. I must stay and continue this pain a little longer. I called HR today to find out when my position will end and of course they don’t know… They don’t know when this will sickness will end. Instead it will continue for god knows when. So HR called me later and then said… you know that sheriff’s job… well they are very interested in you still. Do you want it? Hum now what do I do?



Damn Stars they don’t know crap.



So Tait and I have decided that we are going North for the weekend. We are running away from our problems and having a change of scenery. Surely that will help clear the mind and the body and let me think of a new option.



ONTO TOMORROW! Boy I wish I truly felt that way. I wish that this didn’t hurt so much I wish that this wasn’t so shity. But what can I do? Nothing… everything was decided for me. Again.

Welcome to Break Down City... Population EVERYONE!

So I was watching the news the other day and it was talking about how this father has developed a blog called “Reasons why my son is crying” and it’s a blog of pictures of his son that he takes of his son while crying and puts captions under. He was recently on Good Morning America and I have to tell you I can totally relate with this man. It seems like the last two weeks we have had break down after break down for our kids. It’s crazy it seems like right now they are passing it from one kid to other.


Last night for example. Maya was put in time out b/c she was talking back and just acting horrible. So she was put in time out... than she was allowed to get up. Then she refused to get up and then started saying some pretty horrible things to me so I made her go to her room b/c she refused to change her attitude. So she was in her room just crying and crying. Then Tait comes in and he’s like “what’s going on” and I’m like break down time. So he goes and talks to Maya. Maya is now fine. Than que Nikolai. He was upset over not having his cup of milk. I gave him a cup of milk than he refuses to take it from me. So I walked away from his break down and he chases me asking me about his cup the entire time. So finally I got him to take his cup and he is fine than, then que Lehna. She starts getting all upset because we decided we weren’t going to go to Iwana last night because the neighbors weren’t going and it was guest night and we didn’t have guests and etc etc... So she started throwing a fit. So than She finally settles down and so than we decided we were going to order pizza for dinner... then Maya starts in again how she doesn’t want pizza she wants hot dogs... I mean it was a circle over and over again. It so drives me nuts when they get likes this. I don’t know if the weather or what the heck is going on, but seriously... YIKES! So anyway back to my original point. The blog I can relate with. I feel like I could write a book over why Nikolai cries. He is constantly crying over crazy things. I know its age but mercy it’s contagious. Like he keeps getting upset over having to change his shirt every day. Some days I don’t fight I just put his new shirt of his pj shirt. I don’t have for this crap. So hopefully the kids well settle down.

This morning we had another break down morning. It was time to have the kids get their shoes on and get in the car. So I make the announcement, like I do every morning, “okay guys time to get your shoes on and coats and go.” So Maya is sitting on a chair in my room and I go “come on Maya”... she says “nope, I’m not going to leave this chair today” I said “okay but you are going to be home all by yourself, b/c we are leaving” So than she comes in the front room laying on the floor “I don’t want to go to school today.” I told her that I was sorry but she was going to school today. I said “you have 5 minutes and if you don’t have your shoes and coat on you will go without b/c I’ll carry you to the car” So she finally gets her shoes on... Then que Nikolai. He’s playing with the case of DVDs and he picks out Dora and I go “okay buddy you want to watch that in the van today.” And so I “Okay let’s go get your coat on so we can watch it” This child falls down on the floor and refuses to put his coat on. Finally I pick him up take the DVD from him and get his coat on him... so he’s now standing their crying at me. So I tell the girls it’s time to walk out the door. Lehna is walking around “I can’t find my coat.” I said Lehna “you have four coats PICK ONE!” Nikolai is still crying... Maya has her coat on she’s by the front door, and Lehna now walks outside without a coat on... I say “for the love just go get a freaking coat on” She goes back in and selects another coat... and out the door we go. Then we all climb in the car and Lehna goes “mom we forgot our backpacks” REALLLLLLY! We do this EVERY MORNING and you forget your backpacks... So Lehna goes “Maya I’ll get them.” And I go “no you sit, I’ll get them” I run in get them and we are off... did I mention it’s raining like cats and dogs. BLAHHHHH It’s just been like this the last couple of weeks. I don’t know what’s going on but it’s strong in the air. Some of you might be wondering where Tait was with all of this was going on. He has been leaving early to take one of his clients to school so he has been abandoning I mean leaving before us every morning. But supposedly he’ll be back to being back with us in the morning.... LUCKY him. It’s just been a stressful time. We are just adjusting and I know part if Maya’s issue is she doesn’t like her teacher and I’m not all the impressed with her either but the school year is ALMOST over just hang on. I am also finding that one of the older kids in her class has been doing her work for her. They have 1st and Kindergarten in her class so there are older kids in there. I was reading something of hers and part of it was Maya’s hand writing and than the other was obviously another child’s writing on her work and I asked her about it. And she goes oh Mikayla helped me. I told her that she needs to not have her friend do her work b/c than the teacher doesn’t know what she’s struggling with and she’ll get behind. She already struggles in reading and sounds of letters. So the teacher has recommended that she go to summer school this year and I think that is going to be the best thing for her. I don’t know what she knows and doesn’t b/c I think this has been happening all year. Its funny the other day I was reading over her stuff and I was complimenting her on her printing b/c it looked so nice. Well now that I think back and seeing both hands writing on the page it obviously wasn’t her work. But I think she’s getting “extra help” at CLC too (after school and before school program) I think they are just doing her work for her so that has me concerned. I’m telling you this parenting thing... no guide book, it’s rough.

But anyway on the job front. I had my interview with the county for the job that I have been doing for the past 9 months today. I think it went okay. I don’t think it went badly at all. So we’ll see. But at lunch time today I got a phone call from a recruiter in Milwaukee that came across my resume online and is interested in speaking to me more about my job history. So I am hoping that’s not my sign from the big man upstairs that I’m not getting this job so he’s helping me get my next door open. So I asked when I should know something about the county job and they said tomorrow... so we’ll see. I have decided and it’s the truth there is nothing more I can do. Time will reveal its evil plan for me. Although my horoscope told me that the next TWO YEARS ARE GOING TO BE THE BEST FOR MY CAREER. LOL I don’t know what that means... but supposedly. Of course it said that it was going to take off this year and not slow down. LOL I don’t know “when” it’s supposed to happen but that’s what the stars said anyway. Who can rely on the stars right? They have only been there for centuries. I guess I’ll just have to have faith after all.



But that’s life in our crazy house right now... crazy crazy. I need a vacation!

News from the Front

Okay so it’s time to update my blog once again. I truly am trying to update this thing weekly but it’s TOUGH! Where does all the time go? I guess having three children, working full time, and everything else makes it more difficult. Okay but enough excuses. So another week has rolled by and we are here on Tuesday! So what has happened in this brief time. This weekend we had a great time playing outside. This has been the first item in awhile that we have been able to be outside for any length of time b/c of the snow that has been around and it has been so cold outside. So we took bike rides, went to the park, played ball in the yard, went on walks. It was truly really nice to be outside and exercising with the kids and playing with them. The last two days have been really crappy as far as weather so it will be nice when it’s nice outside again. Get the kids outside!



So on the work front I’ll hit that topic first. I’m sure everyone is on pins and needles waiting for the latest update! LOL Well there isn’t any. Isn’t that hilarious? Okay so here is the scoop, last week I was offered another position through the county for the Sherriff’s department but I have turned down that position. I decided that I wanted to wait and see what happens via this position. So far I’m supposed to be able to interview at some point. I have no idea of when the interview will take place but I know it’s happening sometime this week or next. So I’m still on hold. The good things about this. First of all my supervisor is back from vacation and I know he likes me so that’s a positive. So this means he will be a factor into the interview process. Also I was told by my supervisor either that my director has been talking to the other supervisors to see how I have been doing and they have agreed that I’m doing good. So that’s good. So so far we are still on the “hold and wait” but at least I know that we are moving in a direction. Just slowly.



On the home front.



Let’s start with Nikolai. This little cutie pie. He is just such a sweetie pie, he is SOOOO two right now but he’s still soooo cute. This past weekend I was able to take him on the bike ride with us. I have a little pull wagon that attaches to my bike so I was able to take him along. That was really nice and he really enjoyed it. He just watched out the windows and enjoyed being treated like royalty. So that was really fun for him. We also had speech therapy with him yesterday and he is doing very well. He is starting to put two words together in two word phrases. We are still repeating what he is saying to make sure we are understanding what he is saying. It has become a two prong approach with him. He is interesting in engaging with you, which is great. So now he starts to talk on his own and he is also learning new words. He has his default words that he is working towards growing, which is a great sign. Compared to where we were before when he was nonverbal and had no interest in engaging with us. So we are slowly getting there. His therapist is very excited and pleased with how far he has come. So it’s all good.



Daycare. Boy what a tough thing. We have had a few hiccups with our current daycare provider. She had some personal issues within her family that has made her unavailable to watch our little Nikolai on occasion. This is of course not a point to blame her b/c it something she really can’t control. It is frustrating for us to try to figure out what the heck to do with our son b/c we can’t keep missing work because of daycare. We are also concerned with the amount that we are spending on daycare for just Nikolai on a weekly basis. We spend about $63 per day for all three kids to be in daycare for full time daycare. And let me tell you this is a home daycare we are paying for AND for a very inexpensive way for the girls. So we have been really trying to come up with alternative plans as to decide what to do with our kids. So we were talking with a coworker who has a sister that provides daycare. So we spoke with her yesterday and she truly sounds really good. She will be taking the girls and boy this summer full time. She seems like she is going to do a great job with the kids. She has her own pool and they will be able to swim all summer long. She is VERY involved with the kids and plays with them and takes them places so it should be a good fit for our kiddos. We will be purchasing them season passes for Great America and she will be taking them all summer long. I’m really excited for the kids b/c I think this will be great for them. It will get them active and they will have a really great time. We will bring their bikes so they will be able to ride their bikes over there. It will be really good. I’m excited for them.



Maya, oh how the challenges continue. So the struggles continue with little Miss Maya. Tait is still her whisper and can get her to do anything where as I am still struggling to get her to listen, follow the rules, share, etc. We had much of the same issues this weekend that we have been having. She told Tait that she wanted to go on a walk without us. She just wanted some one on one time with daddy. She just is moody right now. We are working on it.



Lehna is still wishing away her life as she keeps waiting for “two more weeks” before she can change her earrings. She has been chomping at the bit to be able to switch her earrings. She has been having the conversation with me as to which ones she is going to wear first, than she wants my opinion of which ones to wear first. I told her that she needs to decide what she is wearing first than she can pick the earrings to go with it. She wants to go shopping this weekend to use her gift cards she got for her birthday. She really wanted gift cards in order to go shopping so that is what she got. She got two visa gift cards so she can use them wherever she wants to use them. She said she wants to go to Old Navy and Justus. I have never been to Justus so this should be an experience to say the least.



So that is my exciting life right now. Pretty routine pretty much status quo nothing new nothing exciting. Hopefully there will be some updates to come soon.

Easter in Review

So update time!!! You know when I say that the vision of Cinderella saying “It’s Present Time” in Shrek 3, okay random thought completed.


So this past weekend we went to visit Indiana. It was a nice trip. We were able to get there Thursday afternoon and were able to stay until Sunday. It was so nice to get to the see the family and enjoy their company. I know that the girls had a great time hanging out with the kids. Nikolai was SO CUTE when he saw his grandpa Tim. He RAN over to him and say “papal papal up” it was soooo sweet I know that it had to pulled on his heart strings b/c it was very sweet. You never know how the kids are going to react to people they haven’t seen in awhile and he was just great. As far as taking pictures this weekend... totally didn’t happen. I didn’t take not even a ONE, mainly b/c I didn’t bring my camera with me and my iphone is SOOOO slow when it takes pictures that is just plain didn’t happen. But oh well. We were able to see both sets of grandparents this weekend. Joyce was able to dye my hair, which I love! Lehna actually got in on the action of that as well and got her hair dyed... green... just a little section but it was good time.

Friday was Lehna’s birthday and she got 3 different gift cards and she was SOOO excited to open up all the gift cards. She really wanted them this year for some reason. So she enjoyed that, now we just have to schedule a time for her to use them. She got Visa card so she can go wherever she wants to use them. She wants to go to Old Navy and Justus. I don’t think I have ever been in Justus but for some reason she wants to go in there and spend her money... girls. We also had an ice-cream cake for her birthday and it was a nice little gathering.

On Sunday, Maya’s birthday, the first thing out of Maya’s mouth was “can I open my gifts?” She had seen them since Thursday when we got there, so she had been itching to open them all weekend so she was able to open them. She got a lot of cute little things a doll house and a skip it. I’m hoping that eventually it will get warm enough to go outside and Maya will be able to play with her skip it! Maya didn’t have a birthday cake. We were planning on getting one when we got back to Kenosha but when Tait went out to buy one all of the stores were closed. So she didn’t get a birthday cake until Monday. She was a little disappointed but you know she got over it super quick and was excited to blow out the candles on Monday.

The Easter Bunny did come to Indiana to deliver a message to the kids that their Easter baskets were in Wisconsin and it went over well. They were excited about the “surprise” waiting for them, but I had to remind them about it once, b/c they kind of forgot about it. When they got home they searched for their baskets. Lehna worked on finding her basket but she would give up “really quickly” in my opinion about where her next clue was. And Maya once she got an idea of where the next clue was hiding she would TAKE OFF, to get the next clue. Then the great reveal Maya was OVER the moon about her basket. Nikolai was SUPER excited about his cars in his basket... Lehna... not so much she cried. She felt that Maya had more in her basket and she felt shorted. She told us that she wished she was 6 so she could have gotten fairy things. I tell you she is in the really in-between age of not little girl and not big girl. It is a tough age. She is just so sensitive right now about that kind of thing. I am hoping we can just keep up with the gift card thing. Hopefully she’ll continue to be excited about getting those b/c seriously I am running out of ideas of things to get her. I tried going with artsy things for Christmas like tie dye kits and jewelry making and etc. Yeah they didn’t go over nearly as well as I felt that they should.

I’m telling you it’s difficult this parenthood thing. It’s tough. I wish I had the answers but I just don’t. I am really struggling with Maya right now. I am having a hard time just having her not say such horrible things to me and hitting me. Maya is so unique. She has her own ideas of what she enjoys and etc. She is such a free spirit and is just a cutie pie. So the issues that I’m having with her are behavior related. I have figured out that she does the best without strict structure. She really gets tired of having to follow directions for 12 hours a day from school and then continuing it on with daycare. She is VERY opinionated and will tell you how she feels about something if she doesn’t like it. The other day she was upset over the fact that she has to go to the Boys and Girls Club this week for Spring Break. So she has been crying every night about having to go the following day. So last night she was upset and we talked a little bit about it and she just kept escalating and just wasn’t calming down. She was sent to bed b/c of her behavior and she cried and cried. I thought she just was tired. So after a little bit after she quieted down I went into her room to talk to her about it. And she said awful things to me like I’m her worst parent and that she hates me, etc. I used to be able to change the topic and talk about when she was a baby about the stories and she really enjoyed those stories. NOT THIS TIME. Yikes this only made the situation worse. I know that part of this behavior is all attention seeking. She is stuck in the middle and does want one on one attention. Every night when we watch TV she usually curls up on my lap and watches TV with me or whatever we are doing. Last night when we were talking it just was her and me and I just was holding her as she cried and tried to get her to talk to me but she just kept saying “get away”. So finally I left the room and I just couldn’t take any more because she was not being very nice. So I left the room and about 15 minutes later Tait went in to talk to her and he was MUCH more successful. He was able to calm her down, he was able to talk to her about returning to the Boys and Girls Club and he was very successful about it. I kept asking him what in the world did he do to make her relax and talk to her. And he simply goes “nothing I just talked to her” It was like a miracle but this isn’t eh first time. I usually do battle with her in the morning. Getting her to put on her shoes is a chore because she forces her feet in the wrong shoes and then gets upset b/c they don’t fit and she can’t tie them and etc. So Monday she kept going on and on and finally I told Tait that I couldn’t fight her anymore and that he needed to take over so I was able to get the other two ready and in the van. She came out the door happy, no longer crying, and was ready to start the day. I asked him again “what did you do to make her do it.” He said “nothing, I just told her to get her shoes on and let’s go” Really? Why am I struggling with her so much and he’s having such an easy time? I don’t know if it’s something I’m doing to create the environment or if it’s something he’s doing but it’s annoying to say the least. I guess I’m parenting all three kids the same... but for some reason the 2nd one needs something else, but not sure what exactly. Tait said maybe its b/c we are both the middle children. But it’s not like he’s saying to her “I know what I feels like” He’s literally doing the same thing I’m doing but she’s responding to his directives. It’s FRUSTRATING to say the least.

So Tait and I have been trying to find another resource for the summer b/c with the girls being out of school and the Boys and Girls Club not being as successful as I’d hoped we have put out some feelers. One of the MAJOR issues is cost! This town is so expensive as far as everything... groceries, housing, daycare, you name it it’s expensive. So we have been trying to figure out what to do when it comes to summer time and having them in a facility full time. I mean for us to pay full time daycare for three kids were we will not beagle to afford rent or bills or anything. So one of our coworkers was asking about daycare costs and how much we are spending and etc. So she said “well my sister does daycare and I would like to talk to her for you, if that’s okay?” So we said that was fine and she came back and her sister said she was upset over the amount of what we are paying for daycare on a daily basis. She said she would charge ½ the price we are paying for all three kids. And this isn’t a crappy place either. She has a home in a very nice neighborhood, she has a swimming pool. She has the parents get great America season passes and she will take them all summer long there for a couple hours there. She plays games with them, takes them to the park. She’s VERY involved in taking care of the kids. WE have talked to a couple other coworkers that have used her in the past but their kids are old enough not to need daycare anymore. So Tait and I are going to meet with her next Monday. So we’ll see. I am hoping that it works out.

So on the job front. Well things are more complicated then I would want them. So basically last week one of the jobs that I had applied to came through. Well the problem is that since the position that I want at DCFS isn’t going to interview I had a big decision to make. I had to decide to take the sheriff position or if I should wait for the DCFS position. Well after long debate a thinking I have decided that I am not going to take the sheriff position job. I am hoping that it is going to be the right decision but part of me didn’t know what to do and I had to decide on what I was going to do. So I guess time will tell. The best part about all of this is my supervisor comes back next week so the person doing the interviews will be someone that knows me and knows what I’m capable of so that’s a GREAT thing. It’s been tough for me but I feel that this is going to be the best decision. The worse case scenario is I end up not getting this job and then I end up landing another temporary job. So that’s kind of my plan for now. I’m hoping that this is the right thing. Time will tell I guess.

So that’s life on the in our home right now... decisions decisions... what challenges do we all face.