I have to say I’m kind of at a loss of words. I don’t know how to start. I am truly sad by what happened in CT this last week. It breaks my heart to think of all of those innocent spirits that were taken without given the chance to have a full and happy life. It is truly amazing how twisted the human mind can get and how sick people truly are that people are not able to get the help they require. Heavenly Father was welcoming all of those beautiful spirits into his arms on the Friday morning to a place where they didn’t fear, they felt no pain, and were welcomed home by wondrous angels. As I went home on Friday afternoon after listening to the news all day on my computer, I streamed the live feed so I would have the latest information, I didn’t know what I should talk to the girls about. I followed the advice of an expert that said that depending on the ages of your children, and knowing your children, you shouldn’t involve them to much in this information. So after talking it over with Tait we didn’t have our TV turned on Friday night. They were not exposed to what happened on Friday. I feel that this is the best decision for them. I have started wondering about my child’s on safety at school now and thinking about how they open the door at their school and hoping that some changes will come down the line. I will gladly show my identification before entering the school as I feel any parent will now not have a problem with this as the recent events that have occurred. As Tait and I talked they buzz anyone in the door without us showing any kind of identification or anything of that nature. As we have always had business at the school, I don’t know what they do when you don’t have a child to pick up at the school so I’m unsure of what the polices will entail as we move forward. It does make me worry as to the safety of my children in their school as what happened in CT could have happened anywhere. I did find myself on Monday morning signing up for the active shooter training that we have offered here at the Job Center. I will be taking the course on Wednesday so I can prepare myself and my family if this were to happen if we were around we would be more knowledgeable in the senior. So my heart feels such sadness for those parents that have had their children taken from them. I also am sad for the spouses and family members of the adults that were taken away. All of the us are morning with you. Take comfort in knowing that they are now in happiness and can be with you constantly watching you and loving you. They are only a memory away. Death is only temporary and you will be with them once again, take knowledge in knowing that they are still with you.
When I went home and hugged my kids a little tighter on Friday. Even sending them off to school today, I still have a little pit at my tummy hoping that everything goes okay today. Our world is filled with evil and dangers and I hope that the spirit will bless them today and keep them save. It’s a shame when you have to worry about the safety of your children at school, mall, or movie theater. On this world we are faced with such terrible things we are filled with people around us that want to destroy the things we cherish the most. As we enter this Christmas season I know that since I have the knowledge of the atonement and the blessings of the savior that regardless we can be together again if we choose. I thank heavenly father for that ability to have that blessing. So we will work here on this earth to be good guides to our children. We will continue to raise our children and righteous and teach them right from wrong. I know these are choices I struggle with as well but again with the knowledge and guidance I can be the teacher that they need us to be.
I will now switch gears, I just wanted to express how I was feeling about the recent tragedies.
Miss Maya the helper. I have to tell you that Maya is probably my most aware child that I have ever seen. I have had a killer headache for the past 4 days and so I have spent a lot of time laying in my room in the darkness, not trying to sleep, but just to make the throbbing stop. Well yesterday Miss Maya came into our room and goes “oh mommy is asleep” and she scampered off. A few minutes later we heard knocking on the basement door. Tait opened the door and she had carried a basket full of clothes (that were dry) upstairs and had folded them, the best she could. She than told Tait that she wanted to help mommy since she was sleeping. She then went over to the dish washer and emptied out all the clean dishes and put them away. She said she really wants to help out since mommy didn’t feel good. She really was just over the top sweet to do those things for me since my head was killing me. She also just laid with me when I was laying down and asking me if I needed anything. I am so very grateful for having such a sweet little spirit.
So as we move into the new year I have really been thinking about some things, that I want to do. The first thing that I want to do is train for a 10K again. I have figured out it will take me 15 weeks to complete the program again. So I have found a race in Hartford that will happen that Tait and I are going to register for and do. We figured this would be perfect b/c we would be able to have mom and Terry watch the kids for us while we raced. I’m so excited about it. We start training next week and we are back to the hard core of it. We want to get back in running shape and we can do it. It’s a pretty basic program and it works. I would like to do the 10K under 45 minutes. That’s my goal. So we have that set out on the calendar and we are going to start working towards that goal. I am feeling like things are starting to come back under control again.
I am starting to set goals for myself and I’m starting to work on some internal things as well. I am working on being more aware of problems that I have and improving myself. I feel as if I’m walking down the right path again… at least I’m on the path before I just felt like I was sitting spinning. So here we go.
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