It’s DECEMBER!

I have to say it seems like the end of the year just goes faster and faster every year. We have our tree up in our home, lights on the bushes outside, and Christmas stickers on the front door we are VERY festive in our home. It only took like 2 hours total to do everything. This year was a bit more fun decorating the tree because the girls actually wanted to help, and they did most of the decorating. Nikolai on the other hand really just wanted to take the ornaments off the tree. At one point I looked over at him and he was chewing on one of them. I am much bummed b/c I can’t find one of my boxes of outside lights, that also holds my tree skirt in it as well. So our tree is “naked” underneath… oh well. We have decided this will be our final year for this tree and will be getting a new tree next year. Over half of the lights failed to come on this year (it’s prelit) and it’s just time to get a new tree. So we will be looking at sales for after Christmas for next year. So that means next year we will have a new tree. It’s kind of a bitter sweet because this is the first tree Tait and I got when we first lived together. But the next tree we will have will be our first “family” tree that we pick out together, so it’s okay.

So the kids are so very excited about Santa coming. Lehna has been on the fence as to if she is a believer or not. She did write a letter to Santa about the things that she wanted. So she’s just trying to decide if she should believe. I can’t decide if I should tell her the truth or not. She has these kids in her class (I swear ever since Kindergarten, they have been in the same class) but they must be Jehovah’s witnesses and she said that “they don’t celebrate anything” and have told her that there isn’t a Santa. Which shame on the parents for not teaching their kids about other people still believe so it’s not something you should tell other children, or maybe they did, who knows?

We are done with Christmas shopping I have a feeling it’s going to be a good Christmas for the kids. We usually go overboard and I think we scaled back enough that I think they will enjoy everything that they received. I didn’t get any outfits or clothing for them this year. I told Tait that with Lehna being the size that she is she really needs to be with me to shop for clothes. And well Maya doesn’t need another piece of clothing and Nikolai I am kind of waiting to see what size he will need over the next few months. He’s in 24 months right now, but 2T is WAY too big for him yet and I don’t know if it will be super cold when he gets into 2T or if will be spring time. We are just getting things as we need. So it’s all fine.

There is this tradition that they celebrate in Wisconsin, which I’m sure they celebrate in other places as well, I just haven’t heard of this before but that St. Nick comes to visit on the night of the 5th of December checking in with the boys and girls and leaving toys in their stocking… But he’s different from Santa… this is celebrated in Northern Europe. It’s all the rage here I personally think it’s a little strange but whatever. So he’s coming to visit tonight. The ladies that I work with were talking about all the little things that their kids are getting from St. Nick tonight… So we are doing simple and easy: letters and ring pops done.

The girls starting going to before and after school care at CLC verses the baby sitter. We did this for a couple of reasons first the kids were hard to get transported over to the babysitters house everyday and second we didn’t have a place to put them in the morning. We had a family that was willing to watch them in the morning, but in the week they were watching them they were late 3 times in one week. So we decided we couldn’t continue this way. So it’s $5 a day whether you use afternoon, before or both so we are just utilizing the school. Maya had a bad day at CLC yesterday apparently she got yelled at because she opened the door because her dad was on the way up to the door. She threw a HUGE fit and stated she wasn’t going back. So after a discussion with her she agreed to go again but I wrote notes to both her teacher and the CLC teacher hopefully this will be a more positive experience for her, I don’t like the idea she doesn’t like it, but I’m kind of stuck… and I figure she will get over it eventually.

The baby sitter seems to still be working out. Nikolai has been going to Monica’s house for about 3 weeks now and so far it’s okay. Monica really enjoys having him and I think she’s pretty attached to him. We have finally figured out a solution to my poor son’s butt. I know I know the life of parenthood. The poor kid has the most sensitive skin I have EVER seen. He has eczema, which is pretty typical for kids… but this kid every time he had a poopy diaper his butt would just burn b/c of the poo… I know I know I hope readers aren’t enjoying a snack… but anyway so everything just cleaning him it was like fighting in a cage match b/c it hurt his bottom and rightfully so but seriously it was horrible. So I put on Facebook about my struggle with this diaper rash from HELL. So one of my church ladies suggested that we try Bag Balm, I have NEVER heard of this stuff before in my life… but it is a MIRACLE drug. It kind of reminds me of Vaseline but it’s much thicker and smells almost like lip balm, but it has been amazing. I guess it creates like a seal on their skin and so it doesn’t burn his skin any more. I just wish I could have found this stuff earlier but it is wonderful, and changing his diaper isn’t horrible any more. His butt is back to a pretty white and he will lay somewhat still for a diaper change. Which for an almost 2 year old… I’m okay with that.

So for the past couple of months I have been on antidepressants and some anxiety medication and I think things have improved a bit, but they still haven’t felt normal. I can’t really describe it but I still feel down just really sad, can’t really describe it besides saying sad. So I decided that it was time to talk to someone about my feelings to see what else can be done because medication alone just wasn’t taking care of. I have been her for about a month now, and I have to say that so far it’s going pretty good. I am definitely recognizing some things that I am doing as far as obstacles that I’m putting in front of myself. I’m working on reality verses the voices in my head. I know scary stuff right. Actually not in the crazy demonic sense in the self talk verses reality. I have a VERY overactive imagination and most of the time I create my own worries over things that logically I shouldn’t be worried over. Also I’m working on some feelings that I have. So far things are going okay. I told her every time I go there I cry, which is very true. But as she says I’m working on some tough things and its okay. I have to say she isn’t Marge but I like her. She definably has some different techniques that we do verses what we did with Marge, but I’m trying to feel centered again. With Marge I always had homework, I don’t have as much homework with Linda but I still have to keep a journal or at least have a way or recording the thoughts that I have later, because usually later is when it hits you. So I hoping that eventually I will feel back to normal and great once again. I am hoping to find my will to do things again. I have to be more positive. I just want to be better for myself and my family that is my goal.